he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i need some magic done to my vagina
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
