she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
