I wish I only lived at night.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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