I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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