i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
