ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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