Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
