You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
