This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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