Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
