he thought i was a dude.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
