Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
