he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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