marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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