i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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