I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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