Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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