I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
