my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
third nipple confirmed
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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