i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
