He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
