I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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