He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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