It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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