So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
