someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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