Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
