dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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