Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize