What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
