...so i touched it.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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