so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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