My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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