i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
