I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
