I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
