need another drink. this is the easiest way
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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