Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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