you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
