Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he puts the penis in happiness.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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