Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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