I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
