I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM