Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants