Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
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I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???