okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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