Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
