I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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