the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
