So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
