Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
