Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize