My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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