Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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