at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
