I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
