took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
