Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
