Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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