So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
