I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
