I must be too annoying 4 u.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
