He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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