first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
