I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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