cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
