Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
