You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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