Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Mom said you looked used
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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