Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.

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(206): View more from Washington

We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.

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(773): View more from Illinois

He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

So can I buy you a drink sometime?

(206): View more from Washington

Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle

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(630): View more from Illinois

I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.

(815): View more from Illinois

i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.

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