I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
