2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
